Footage of yesterday’s sprint at the Presque Isle Junior Nationals. The part of New England will be played by Bigfoot.
Johnny Klister
Mar 09
Two days to NCAAs
Thumbs up at Presquizzle. (RT photo)
Mar 08
Presquizzle Ski Marking Files: KLISTER | WET | DRY (intermediate markings not shown: moist, powdery, and sticky)
This is what skiing progress looks like: OPA Cup crew. (Sadie B. photo)
The OPA Cup Report (via Sylvan E.)
It’s been awesome being over in France so far. The race environment is rich, the trails are solid, and my poop has never smelled like this. I blame it on the diet of cheese, bread, yogurt, wine, and did I mention cheese? Wow…
Also living with an Olympic athlete, Simi Hamilton, has been a real treat. I’ve never been so pleased to hear such a caliber of an athlete yell in his sleep, “I love it when you call me big papa”
We took a quick trip into Annecy before heading up to La Feclaz. Little did I know the bathrooms double as a shoe cleaner. Apparently the public bathrooms are sprayed down after each use. I didn’t know this and ended up with a half empty bladder and a wet pair of clogs.
Mar 07
“ I’m finding it hard to call Presque Isle anything but Presquizzle.
— Overheard at this year’s Junior Nationals.
Mar 06
Presque Isle and Truckee are virtually identical.
Remembering Fake Faster Skier
As Junior Nationals Approach, it’s time to look back at the “Rules for Junior Nationals” from the (sadly) retired Fake Fasterskier. Email single rules for this year’s Presque Isle incarnation to johnnyklister@gmail.com
5. When your kid blames the alt., or the kick, or the soft snow, or their dry-hump bruises for why they skied like an ass-hat, refer to 4.
4. These are the most important races of your kids life. If they suck, they should just pack it in. They’ll never be a skiing success #fail
3. Some kid, from a state you didn’t even know had snow, is going to stomp on the hopes of your darling little Alaska Winter Star. via web
2a. You know that $ you gave your kid to buy an ugly-ass JO’s sweatshirt? Yeah. The Stratton kids are gonna fµ¢k¡πg take it. (See previous.)
2. The amount of time your kid spends learning to gamble will exceed the amount of time they actually spend skiing. via web
1. At the banquet, your precious J2 is going to learn all about the term “dry humping”. #lost-innocence
